So, two days ago I lost a friend of mine. I am still in denial and disbelief. She went to JMU and her last status on facebook was Saturday afternoon talking about how she was going longboarding and enjoying the beautiful day. She got into an accident that day, and passed a few days later. Its remarkable to me how fast this life can come and go for some people. My friend was incredible. She had a vibrant personality. She was always up even when things were looking down. I have never met anyone who could be so positive, fun, playful, trustworthy and caring all at once and all of the time. I miss her but when I think about it, she lived a more full life than most people, even older people. She made sure to be positive, be happy and seriously savor the taste of life. I am inspired by her and that is why I am writing this post.
Life is short. I don’t know what to say. We all suffer through our crises but the important thing is to keep it moving. It’s not easy…It is most definitely not easy to feel fulfilled everyday, but sometimes when it’s not the big things, you have to indulge and savor the little things. If you can change it, change it. If you can’t, change your perspective or attitude. Either way, find a way to find joy and fulfillment in everything you do.
I am off on a 10 day adventure with my mom but I want to leave you here with FIVE pieces of advice, and THREE specific activities that will take 30 minutes or less to do that can help you feel more fulfilled (at least in my opinion, try it out if you are willing- what do you have to lose?)
This general advice is astonishingly elementary. The things that you teach kids but then somehow they learn to forget over time. Keep them in mind, always.
1. Don’t hold grudges. It’s simply a waste of time.
2. Overuse the right words. I know that actions speak louder than words but you can never ever say good things to someone too much or too often. It’s easy to feel like people should “know” how you feel about them, but take the time to remind them once in awhile that you love them or miss them or are just grateful for them. Whether it is your parent, or a friend, or even the janitor that you pass by everyday at work.
3. Don’t be too stubborn to apologize or admit you are wrong.
4. Don’t be so judgmental. People have their days and have their stories. If the sales clerk is on edge a little bit, give her a break. Don’t snap back. No one is perfect and it’s easy to judge and talk about people, but honestly let it go. You don’t know everything about everyone. Trust in people and believe that they may act the way they do for a legitimate reason.
5. Don’t complain so much. Spend more time concerned about your attitude and your way of living. “Attitudes are contagious, is yours worth catching?”
Three things I want you to do within the next 10 days if you are willing to make the time.
1.Write an email/text/letter/card, or if you are bold enough make the phone call to someone
a. that you have lost touch with but miss dearly. Tell them you miss them, or that you still care. You don’t have to be in each others lives again the way you used to be but share your feelings with them.
b. that you take for granted. A friend you have known for years, a family member you talk to everyday or a co-worker who makes working more bearable for you.
2. Write down a realistic dream that you always put off or are waiting to happen to you. For instance, I would write “I want to live in NYC for a few years”. Now, write out a plan step-by-step on how you can achieve that. Mine would say 1. Finish school, 2. Get a job right now and save money, 3. Start applying for jobs in NYC, 4. Find a place to live, 5. Move in when you have accomplished 1-4. 6. Call friends in NYC and celebrate. Keep this with you or somewhere you can see it frequently. What do you really want? How are you going to get it? Now go, get it.
3. Choose three activities that you LOVE but don’t make time for- leisure reading, yoga, running, scrapbooking, playing a video game, watching a show, reading a magazine, writing poetry, learning a new language, cooking, baking, playing poker with friends…etc. and do these three activities at least once in the next ten days. Make time for the things you don’t need but want. The things that make you extremely content but are for the most part worthless. It’s a part of living. Enjoy.
If you knew you were going to die in a week would you be happy with what you are doing today? Stop putting things off, start making more effort, stop indulging in others lives, and start recreating yours.
Life is short. I don’t know how else to say it. I was hit incredibly hard with this harsh realization, and it’s time for me to make some changes.
PS. If you do decide to do the three things or one of them then please go to my feedback page on the blog and share with me your story. I would like to collaborate these and maybe make a post out of them. Did it or will it make a difference for you?