We all know the Golden Rule. It is stated in all scriptures, all philosophies- the ethic of reciprocity- treat others the way you want to be treated. Honestly, I still haven’t decided how I feel about living by it. Sometimes no matter how I would want to be treated, I just can’t treat another person like that. Some people are just bad, mean, morally wrong, or cruel and don’t deserve your time, patience and compassion. (Rant over).
This post looks at the rule from another angle. An angle I do try to live by.
Sometimes we need to treat ourselves the way we would treat others. This goes two ways.
First,
Would you forgive someone else for something you have done? Why can’t you forgive yourself?
Would you stand up for a friend or even a stranger if they are being mistreated or wronged? Why don’t you stand up for yourself?
Would you drop what you’re doing for a friend in need just to be there for them? Why do you think it’s weak to take time for yourself, to stop working, to ask for space or time off so you can recuperate and take care of yourself?
The list can go on. Love yourself more, be more forgiving, let yourself off the hook sometimes, and take care of yourself.
Second,
When you do something wrong or make a terrible mistake, do you tell yourself it’s okay and forgive yourself? Then why are you so unforgiving, hurtful and maybe even hold a grudge over a friend about the same thing?
When you are running late, cancel plans last minute, or cut someone off in traffic, do you understand and tell yourself that you aren’t usually like that? Then why do you question someone else’s character when they do the same things to you?
This list can also go on. Don’t be a hypocrite; you are not better than anyone else. Step into other people’s shoes more and be more understanding.
This is something to think about in all relationships- familial, intimate, work, and platonic.
Think about it,
S.K.
Hi, thanks for a really interesting post, and a very valuable perspective! I recently wrote an article about my understanding of the golden rule on my own blog, which I believe your perspective can chime nicely with. It holds very deep moral wisdom when properly understood, but I think we can be confused or distracted by its two different formulations, the ‘do to others..’ and the ‘don’t do to others..’; I don’t believe though that the one is simply the flip-side of the other, they do say slightly different things. Your take, however, could be applied to both equally usefully. It could be a very good check on a person’s actions, although I feel it should probably always complement a more standard interpretation. I’d be interested to hear your thoughts on my article, if you want you can find it here: http://michaelakay.wordpress.com/2012/05/21/what-my-mother-taught-me/
Thanks!
Michael.
Found you through MNINB and Lara Britt’s blogroll. Love the concept of your blog. Thanks for sharing your perspective on the Golden Rule. The first part definitely resounded with me; sometimes our own negative thoughts are our worst enemies.
Jennifer, I’m glad that I could help put things into perspective for you. Thanks for stopping by; I hope you keep reading!
Great post! My mind instantly thought of a concept that was first introduced in my peace studies course at American University: the moral imagination. In essence, this approach to life/conflict resolution, which can be applied all over, asks individuals to imagine themselves in the opposing individual’s shoes – much like what you’ve suggested here. A Mennonite academic by the name of John Paul Lederach has a book explaining it better than I have here called “The Moral Imagination: The Art and Soul of Building Peace.” Sat Shri Akal – I hope I’m doing that right.
Yes! Agree. Thank you for reading!