Tag Archives: Challenge Yourself

What Other People Think DOES Matter…

20 Feb

I think we, very often, become unaware of how we are perceived by other people. Yes, “who cares what other people think” is a wonderful way to stay true to who you are but it’s an awful way to tune in on how to be a better version of you.

Other people are more aware of your strengths and weaknesses. We carry a biased view layered with our fears and personal experiences that we can’t truly get a clear vision on how we are and who we are. So, I suggest two things-

First, take some time to talk to people closest to you or pay more attention when people say things about you in passing. Such as-

an acquaintance saying something as simple as “Wow, you’re a great listener”

a friend mentioning playfully to another friend “S.K always has to get the last word in” or

your mom who you talk to on the phone once a day saying, “you always talk about your psychology class, why don’t you look more into that field”

Other people will be able to accurately propose what seems important or unimportant to you from how often or not often you talk about it. They can propose what your strongest and weakest personality traits or characteristics are by spending time with you, interacting with you or watching you.

After this, take some time to view yourself from an outside perspective. Write down what you think your strengths and weaknesses or accomplishments and struggles are. Put yourself in scenarios and predict how you would handle them. Then make note of what your friends, family, acquaintances suggest or think. Are they aligned? Probably not. You probably didn’t realize how great you were at some thing or you probably neglected to account for a constant habit that comes off unattractive to other people.

I want you to tune in a little more to what’s going on around you. Listen to what people say about you and what they see in you.

Then ask yourself, would you want to introduce yourself to you after hearing what other people say about you?

Happy Monday,

S.K.

CHALLENGE: Ask the next three people you talk to today what their first impression of you was. I did this with my freshman hall in college years ago, and got some very interesting and possibly negative feedback. It really made me think more about how I come off to people and how I can be a better me. Share your stories below!

Tags: , , ,

Equilibrium Part 3/3 “Don’t Become A Robot”

12 Jan

e·qui·lib·ri·um - A state in which opposing forces or influences are balanced

My first post on equilibrium for the New Year was on balance between self vs. community. The second was suggestions on how to use fear to find fearlessness. In my final post on striking balance for the New Year is focused on technology and its overwhelming takeover of our lives.

It’s so easy to be stuck to your technologies- BlackBerrys, Androids, Iphones- any cell phone- Ipods/MP3s/CD players, Ipads/tablets, laptops, desktops, Ebook readers etc.

We are so spoiled.

Somehow in all the fascination and dependence on these mechanical gadgets, we have forgotten the important of human contact and complete independence. So, I write this post to urge you to make it a point AT LEAST once a week to switch things up. Here are some suggestions–

1)   HOLD OFF IN THE MORNING. When you wake up first thing in the morning- don’t check your phone OR computer (unless it is to shut off the alarm clock). Take a deep breath, stretch, eat breakfast, shower, get dressed AND THEN indulge yourself in emails and texts and phone calls and social media sites (Facebook/Twitter/etc).

2)   SWITCH IT UP. Read the newspaper or listen to NPR. I know it’s so much easier to go to websites and get a rundown of the news but go old school once in awhile. You learn random things and take in at least 50% more information by flipping pages, perusing papers that are too big to hold out or by listening to the radio.

3)   SNAIL MAIL. Write a letter. Tell me you wouldn’t love getting snail mail? Next time you want to send an email to a friend to check in or stalk an old Facebook friend- grab a piece of paper, write a letter to them and send it out.

4)   READ A BOOK WITHOUT DISTRACTIONS. Next time you want to leisure read a magazine or book, put your phone on silent, close your laptop and spend an hour actually throwing yourself into the story. No distractions. If you need to look up words in the process (like me), buy a pocket dictionary instead of relying on the Internet.

5)   GAME NIGHT. Whatever happened to good old classic board games or card games? Speed, Jenga, Monopoly, Scrabble etc. Put down your phone, get off your computer and stop playing words with friends or angry birds or whatever other ridiculous game you’re wasting your time with. Instead, play an actual board game with real live people who are physically next to you.

6)   GET LOST. As long as it’s daytime and a generally safe area, get lost. Walk around aimlessly until you don’t know where you are. You’ll meet new people, you’ll find new stores and places that intrigue you, and when you are ready to find your way home- ask someone for general directions instead of mapping it out on your GPS or your phone. 

7) LEARN/CREATE SOMETHING. Spend the hour you would usually spend on the Internet or watching television/hulu to pick up a hobby, or to learn something new. Knit, scrapbook, take karate lessons, write, learn a language, learn how to change a flat tire (manually), practice a sport, go to a nursing home and hear stories about historical events from people who have lived through them…etc.

The brain is a muscle and we find ourselves relying on technology for EVERYTHING. Force yourself, once in awhile to do things the old school way. Use your head before looking things up, read things physically rather than electronically, hang out with friends physically rather than via the Internet, and so on. I love technology and I own every gadget you can think of, but I push myself to step away every now and then. Don’t let technology run your life or waste your time- if you don’t believe me, spend a day logging how much you check your phone, text, email, sit on Facebook or Twitter or browsing the internet…I guarantee you’ll be a little disturbed with the results.

Stay naturally smart,

S.K.

PS. I want to hear your unplugged stories- comment or send me an email letting me know how long you can go completely unplugged and what you do to make up for that time. I bet you cant go an entire 24 hours? CHALLENGE. 

Tags: , , ,

Life is Short, Are You Fulfilled?

12 Oct

      So, two days ago I lost a friend of mine. I am still in denial and disbelief. She went to JMU and her last status on facebook was Saturday afternoon talking about how she was going longboarding and enjoying the beautiful day. She got into an accident that day, and passed a few days later. Its remarkable to me how fast this life can come and go for some people. My friend was incredible. She had a vibrant personality. She was always up even when things were looking down. I have never met anyone who could be so positive, fun, playful, trustworthy and caring all at once and all of the time. I miss her but when I think about it, she lived a more full life than most people, even older people. She made sure to be positive, be happy and seriously savor the taste of life. I am inspired by her and that is why I am writing this post.

      Life is short. I don’t know what to say. We all suffer through our crises but the important thing is to keep it moving. It’s not easy…It is most definitely not easy to feel fulfilled everyday, but sometimes when it’s not the big things, you have to indulge and savor the little things. If you can change it, change it. If you can’t, change your perspective or attitude. Either way, find a way to find joy and fulfillment in everything you do. 

      I am off on a 10 day adventure with my mom but I want to leave you here with FIVE pieces of advice, and THREE specific activities that will take 30 minutes or less to do that can help you feel more fulfilled (at least in my opinion, try it out if you are willing- what do you have to lose?)

      This general advice is astonishingly elementary. The things that you teach kids but then somehow they learn to forget over time. Keep them in mind, always. 

1. Don’t hold grudges. It’s simply a waste of time. 

2. Overuse the right words. I know that actions speak louder than words but you can never ever say good things to someone too much or too often. It’s easy to feel like people should “know” how you feel about them, but take the time to remind them once in awhile that you love them or miss them or are just grateful for them. Whether it is your parent, or a friend, or even the janitor that you pass by everyday at work.  

3. Don’t be too stubborn to apologize or admit you are wrong. 

4. Don’t be so judgmental. People have their days and have their stories. If the sales clerk is on edge a little bit, give her a break. Don’t snap back. No one is perfect and it’s easy to judge and talk about people, but honestly let it go. You don’t know everything about everyone. Trust in people and believe that they may act the way they do for a legitimate reason. 

5. Don’t complain so much. Spend more time concerned about your attitude and your way of living. “Attitudes are contagious, is yours worth catching?”

Three things I want you to do within the next 10 days if you are willing to make the time.

1.Write an email/text/letter/card, or if you are bold enough make the phone call to someone 
     a. that you have lost touch with but miss dearly. Tell them you miss them, or that you still care. You don’t have to be in each others lives again the way you used to be but share your feelings with them. 
     b. that you take for granted. A friend you have known for years, a family member you talk to everyday or a co-worker who makes working more bearable for you. 

2. Write down a realistic dream that you always put off or are waiting to happen to you. For instance, I would write “I want to live in NYC for a few years”. Now, write out a plan step-by-step on how you can achieve that. Mine would say 1. Finish school, 2. Get a job right now and save money, 3. Start applying for jobs in NYC, 4. Find a place to live, 5. Move in when you have accomplished 1-4. 6. Call friends in NYC and celebrate. Keep this with you or somewhere you can see it frequently. What do you really want? How are you going to get it? Now go, get it.

3. Choose three activities that you LOVE but don’t make time for- leisure reading, yoga, running, scrapbooking, playing a video game, watching a show, reading a magazine, writing poetry, learning a new language, cooking, baking, playing poker with friends…etc. and do these three activities at least once in the next ten days. Make time for the things you don’t need but want. The things that make you extremely content but are for the most part worthless. It’s a part of living. Enjoy.

If you knew you were going to die in a week would you be happy with what you are doing today? Stop putting things off, start making more effort, stop indulging in others lives, and start recreating yours. 

Life is short. I don’t know how else to say it. I was hit incredibly hard with this harsh realization, and it’s time for me to make some changes. 

Happy living, 
S.K.

PS. If you do decide to do the three things or one of them then please go to my feedback page on the blog and share with me your story. I would like to collaborate these and maybe make a post out of them. Did it or will it make a difference for you? 

Tags: , , , , ,

%d bloggers like this: