e·qui·lib·ri·um - A state in which opposing forces or influences are balanced
No matter what, New Year resolutions are normally created to help encourage balance in some or all aspects of your life. I have decided to write a few posts dedicated to the idea of balance. Here is a personal setting to supplement the first post for 2012–
I have been living at home again after years on and off away from my parents, my home town and the community I grew up in….and a lot has changed. Well, I have changed. It’s really difficult to immerse myself back into an environment that is old or even way too comfortable. Nothing is bad, but everything is just different. I see things from a new perspective, I have my own opinions and I live by my own principles. I am not some radical, rebellious crazy. Rather, I am a good girl who dares to question everything but also tip toes in hopes not to overstep any familial or cultural boundaries. (at least I try). Then again, I live in a modern, American society with traditional, non-American parents- so, the overstepping and pushing boundaries is inescapable if I want to conserve any of my sanity.
I have found that by the end of 2011, I was trying so hard to strike balance that I was making everything wrong. So, I have written out some advice for myself that I would like to share with you. Though this is directed for my personal sense of self vs. community, I think they can be generalized to any lifestyle.
1. Find balance between what is expected of you, and what you want for yourself. Don’t be afraid to be more selfish in certain situations.
2. Find balance between your respect for others without compromising your self respect. NEVER compromise your self respect.
3. Find balance between giving for your family/community/friends and taking for yourself. You are not greedy or mean if you take what you deserve or need.
4. Find balance between cultures and traditions…and in some cases create your very own traditions.
5. Trust your instincts and standards. You were brought up by certain people and in a certain environment. Don’t be ashamed or scared to stray away in order to be more of yourself.
6. Remember that parents are people, grandparents are people, siblings are people, elders are people, kids are people, and you are simply a person. Everyone is entitled to mistakes, bad days, and their very own opinions. Don’t jump on a bandwagon out of respect or fear to disagree. Find balance with your own heart and mind, outside of those you love and respect.
It’s hard struggling with the concept of self. Who am I? What defines me? How do I become who I am meant to be? I am stuck between the expectations of my family/culture/community, and then there are the expectations in my relationships, and then there are the broad expectations of general society.
BUT there is a way to strike balance, to find equilibrium and to stabilize on steady ground. It’s not easy and it will bring you to a lot of crossroads but as you suffer through your crises and bring in a new year, you are entitled to your own decisions and your own opinions. I believe that you have been molded and taught enough to live your own life irrespective, while not disrespecting, those that surround you.