Tag Archives: Dreams

A Poem: Not Even Feeling Obsolete Is Absolute

18 May

I wrote this poem today because I am feeling down about some areas of my life that are not where they need to be. Sometimes some things fall apart and other things fall together or rather, some things are falling together and then things you thought you conquered are falling apart. It’s hard and it hurts. 

So this is a poem for you, from me. (or for me, from me).

Dear you,

to sometimes feel obsolete 
in a world
where nothing is absolute is sooooo
{gut.twisting.heart.aching.take a deep breath.}
normal

not even feeling obsolete is absolute.

at some point YOUR value 
will be absolutely invaluable, 
and the purposelessness you once felt
will be replaced with
the purpose 
that now drives you 
everyday…..

at work, at home,in relationships, and in every aspect of life.

you just need to find it.
find.your.purpose.

Love, me.

S.K.

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The Waiting Game and The Mental Strains

7 May

I can get really intense about things that I want really badly. If any of my relationships are hitting the rocks, I tend to fight harder. If I am trying to pursue something for a dream or passion, I obsess over doing every possible thing I can to get there. But the absolute worst of all situations is when there’s nothing I can do. I can’t force someone to be a better friend or person for me, I can only be the best friend and person I can be. I can’t decide the results of something, I can just work my very hardest for the best. So what happens when you’ve done everything on your end?

Then comes the waiting game. Something I am still learning to perfect.

Whether it’s waiting for grades or exam results, waiting to hear back from employers, giving time/space to relationships and friendships, waiting for health test results, waiting for admission decisions, waiting for answers, and waiting for choices.

We spend a lot of time in our lives waiting and we’ve all done it. During the process we analyze all possibilities starting with the very worst. What happens if I don’t get the job? What happens if my girlfriend breaks up with me? What happens if I don’t get into that school? We spend so much time wanting things to go a certain way so when we are waiting to see if they will, we obsess over the worst. 

Then comes the mental strain we put on ourselves if things don’t work out the way we want. What’s wrong with me? Why didn’t that person or that school want me? I didn’t do enough. I’m a failure.

We start to put ourselves down. I am guilty of this so I know how easy it is to do that and also how bad it is. If things don’t go the way you want them to….you are still going to be okay. If you worked your hardest and did your best, then don’t put yourself down. Be proud. You made yourself vulnerable to something or someone and that takes a lot of strength. (Sidenote: If you didn’t do your best and you maybe even messed things up, then learn from it, be upset with yourself but don’t hate yourself over it. You are still the only thing you have for every minute of this life. If you don’t like who you are, forgive yourself and be better.)

Most importantly- Don’t tell yourself it’s not the way things were supposed to turn out. Instead, tell yourself it’s not the way you THOUGHT things were going to turn out. 

If there’s anything I have continuously been reminded of over the past few years, it’s this:

You will work hard. You will do everything you can do in a situation. Sometimes you won’t get what you worked so hard for.  You will feel bad. There’s nothing you can do about it. No matter what, things will be okay if not better.

Hang on. Life is a journey that goes up AND down.

S.K.

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Routines, Wednesdays and Making Time

18 Apr

First, I actually really like Wednesdays. I know…I’m weird. But realistically, it is one of my most productive AND pleasant days of the week. Why?

On Thursdays I am too anxious about Friday, and on Friday, I unwind and relax or hang out with friends. Then on Saturday, I make time to do things during the day but it’s Saturday and I always know there is Sunday. So then Sunday comes around and I’m stressed. I have to make up what I didn’t do at the end of the past week and prepare for the upcoming week. Then there’s Monday…no explanation needed. Then on Tuesdays I still feel the beginning of the week blues and it’s kind of my slump day but then….Wednesday!

Wednesdays, in my life, seem to be the days when I’m most organized, productive and clear headed. The weekend rush and blues are over and I’m not too concerned with the upcoming weekend yet so it’s the one day out of the week where I am productive. When I say productive I don’t just mean getting things done…I mean, it’s the day where I do things for me. I work on my personal projects, and side gigs because I have everything else in order. It’s the one day where I really exemplify my life motto “Don’t ever fall into a routine and get too busy for what’s important” and am consistently taking steps to pursue my bigger dreams. 

I want to remind you to shake things up, even if for just one day a week. We are all on the path to somewhere but are stuck in this one place (physically, emotionally, mentally) because it’s what needs to be done right now. Whether it’s a job or a living situation or a mindset. Right? But that does not mean you are actively pursuing your dreams. My biggest fear is that I’ll wake up when I’m older and realize that I didn’t use my time wisely. Things always need to be done. But you can always do what you need to AND do what you want to. My best friend just asked me yesterday how I can do so much in one day and I said “Easy. After I do the hard stuff and the boring stuff, I don’t need to unwind. My eyes are on the prize for what I want for myself, and when I actively am doing small things to pursue that then it’s not work, it’s when I feel the most alive.”  

 ”If it’s important, you’ll find a way and if it’s not, you’ll find an excuse” – Unknown

S.K.

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Image

Creating the Individual

15 Apr

Last year, when things seemed to be slowly falling apart for me, I wrote the word INDIVIDUAL on a pice of scrap cardboard. Then, I wasn’t quite sure how to dissect the word. Today, however, I woke up wanting to CREATE a part of myself…something…so, I found this in the back of my closet and I started to write. I realized that I saw the word for what I want it to mean to me today and I hope that seeing this will help you too.

In = 1) Be aware of surroundings, always. 2) Where you are and when is significant. 3) Evaluate relationships you are in, where you are comfortable, confinements and investments.
Indi(e) = independent/independence
Divid(e) = 1) separate from expectations of others; veer off and away if you have to in order to find you. 2) Prioritize your passions and parts
U = YOU
Visual = 1) SEE; use eyes; be more observant. 2) create charts, time tables and VISION boards to visualize short and long term goals

All rights reserved. Copyright Sahaj Kohli.

Happy Sunday, 

S.K.

PS. I think this might be a good cover to the QLC book, thoughts?

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Competition and Comparisons

12 Apr

It’s a competitive world out there especially now when we are all trying to break out into ourselves and our careers and pursue our passions and dreams. But here are a few things I’ve learned along the way…(and keep relearning because I tend to forget them).

1) Stop comparing yourself with other people. It will never make you feel better and if it is what you do in order to feel better then you seriously need to reevaluate your self esteem and where you need to get validation from.

2) My best friend gave me great advice last week…”Just because other people are successful and doing really well DOES NOT mean that you are doing any worse than them”. We are all different and we all have our own paths. Follow yours.

3) Competition is healthy but friends support friends no matter what. If you have the confidence in yourself to follow through and get what you want/deserve then supporting and helping others should not be a problem. 

4) Sometimes there will come those times where you require help from someone else in order to get what you want. Whether it’s an introduction to someone they know in a field you want to break into or help with a personal project for your resume or like me, getting to a final stage of a contest via popular vote. These are the exact times where you see people’s true colors. Don’t overlook the people who are conspiring to help you and don’t forget that some of your “friends” may not really be your friends. 

5) “Haters are just confused admirers who can’t understand why everybody likes you.” I am not telling you this to remind you to be strong and to ignore your haters…that was the first thing that came to your mind, naturally. I’m telling you this to remind YOU to stop hating on other people. We all do it. You do it. I do it. It’s natural. But next time you feel yourself “hating” on someone else, stop. It’s not worth it. It’s not important that you can’t understand why people like them or why they are so successful. What IS important is that you are not confident enough to let it go and say “hey, good for them” or “who cares”. You are hating because in some way or another, you are jealous. I know some of you are like “uh, no that’s definitely not true”. I’m sorry but it is. It took me a long time to realize that I was a hater of some people and then I realized I spent too much time caring about their lives when I should have been channeling all that energy into my own. Learn from me.

6) My personal favorite—the Facebook illusion. Don’t let yourself get down and depressed because everyone on Facebook (or any other social media) seems to be so confident and successful and perfect. They aren’t. Facebook allows for everyone to selectively share what’s going on in their life. You don’t see me writing “Today, I hate life and am struggling to love who I am”…but that should have been my Facebook status everyday for a few months last year. Yes, I am putting that out there . Why? Because I desperately want to remind whoever reads this that it gets better, everyone is struggling and don’t be fooled into thinking you’re alone by the Facebook illusion!

S.K.

PS Don’t forget to go out and vote for me to win my dream internship. Click the link and click vote everyday (or however often you would like) until April 22. www.about.me/sahajkohli

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Celebrating 6 Months: The Story of The Monkey Bars

5 Apr

When I was a little girl I broke my first bone. How? I was at a friend’s house playing in her backyard trying to see how many bars I could skip while making my way across the monkey bars. Instead of starting with one and making my way up. I went straight to trying to skip every three bars…and BAM…landed on my arm the wrong way.

I used to be the kind of person who pushed myself to the limit. I’m not just talking about as a little girl either. I’m talking about recently…maybe only a year ago, if that. This was good until it became dangerous to my well being. I wanted results, and fast. I wanted to make more progress than I had to work for. I didn’t consider what was realistic. I didn’t believe that I had to actually cross through B to get to C. I thought I could just hop around from A to G to K to X because that’s how things used to be for me in high school and basically all of my life until I started college, got my first lowest grades, took time off, got rejected from a bunch of things and then realized that I was just too stubborn and needed to slow down.

So, here I am. I am still learning but I have definitely changed the way I think and the way I take action. I started this blog from scratch, with some unresolved pain and a passion, 6 months ago as a way for me to remind myself of some things. Now 6 months later, I get email after email with love and support and people (some I know, some I don’t) telling me they can relate and they are inspired by what I write. It’s incredible to me. Yesterday, I was invited to guest appear on a small radio show at the end of the month to talk about the blog and the quarter life crisis. It’s not my big break but it’s a small step in the right direction. A year ago? I would have been discouraged that nothing greater is coming from my hard work.

Now? I know that it’s absolutely necessary to take the small steps. You have to optimize opportunities, no matter how small. They say you have to climb the ladder to success but now I am learning that sometimes there isn’t even a ladder. You have to take your small opportunities (sometimes really, really tiny ones) and stack them up and build them into bigger opportunities. It’s a sequential process. If you take the small steps, with time, you’ll look back and be astounded at how far you’ve come. This way, you gain more experience and knowledge. Yes, it’s hard work and will sometimes end up in failure but that’s how you get emotionally and mentally stronger. I don’t blame the little girl me for aspiring to skip three monkey bars. I blame her for not trying one bar or two bars first. I blame her for not building the strength and muscle (in this case, physically) to fulfill the dream. 

With that said, I want to say thank you to all of you. My friends and family who from the beginning never made me feel silly for having to publicly share my struggles and doubts in myself. My loyal followers. My new followers. And the strangers and acquaintances who came across this blog, and have stayed. This blog is officially 6 months old and it’s only getting better from here.  

S.K.

P.S. If you have issues or crises you’d like me to blog about, go to the contact page and share them with me! If you want to share your own perspective and stories then please submit your own guest post! Finally, if you want to help be a part of a book in the making, fill out the questionnaire! Thank you!

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A (Very) Short Post on Being a Somebody

23 Feb

We all have our aspirations to be somebody, or to be something. No one grows up and says “I want to be a nobody”. Most people want to be remembered for something, leave a mark on someone, and/or feel fulfilled with the life they pursue. 

“I always wanted to be somebody, I should have been more specific” – Lily Tomlin

You can’t be somebody until you see yourself actually being somebody. Be specific. Who is it you want to be? What do you want to be known for? What is it you want to accomplish? This can be a series of small things or something that becomes an ultimate goal that you are actively and constantly working towards. Why is this so important to you? How can you get there and how will you work towards it every day? 

If you can’t close your eyes, and actually envision yourself doing something (this is for anything you ever do), then you have already provided yourself with more obstacles and struggles than is necessary.

Have confidence, know what you want, outline your goals, picture yourself being that somebody, reevaluate regularly to make appropriate changes (because life happens), don’t take your eyes off your goal and go.

S.K.

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The Other Side of The Window “Stop Wasting Your Time (I Don’t Care How Old You Are)”

30 Jan

  As I mentioned in my pervious post, there were three main ideas I took away with me from the conference I attended last weekend. Each one plays a subrole in the main idea of looking at your life from the outside in.  The first thing was learning how to veer away from those you are comfortable with to vulnerably and daringly join a crowd. 

            Continuing on… the second idea I took away with me was this: don’t let age stop you from pursuing a dream. I know this seems pretty basic and self-explanatory, but I beg to differ.  I’m not talking about the perfect career or the amazing lifestyle. I’m talking about the dreams that you stuff away in the bottom drawer because they seem unreachable, or take too much time, or something you have absolutely no experience in. I’m talking about the “bucket list” dreams. Well here are five points to remind you that you don’t need to dream your dreams…instead live them.

1)   Just do it. Whatever it is. Pick it up as a hobby. Your dreams don’t need to be a time consuming, absolute, all or nothing endeavor for you to be fulfilled. If you love it, do it. It’s really that simple. Really.  Then you can find a way to take it up full time or you might be fulfilled as is.

2)   Do it for yourself. If you are pursuing a dream for someone else or to get noticed then don’t waste your time. It will become work more than a passion. Even then, when you do pursue it for yourself, keep in mind that you don’t need validation from others to like it, enjoy it, do it, love it or make it a priority.

3)   Be aggressive. Network, go to conferences, and find local groups. Chances are you are not the only person who wants to learn the drums at 40 or become an author after taking only one English class in your entire post-high school career, or become a scuba diving instructor even though you have no idea how to swim. Go out there, no doubts or hesitation. Everything else will fall into place. If you don’t put yourself out there you will never know. Prime example is Langston Hughes- he worked all kinds of odd jobs to make ends meet. At one point, he was a busboy at a hotel when he assertively handed his poetry to a famous poet who came in. That was how he got discovered. Be aggressive.  

4)   Don’t be scared. Don’t be scared to walk away from what you aren’t happy with to pursue a dream. If you have to live frugally to barely make ends meet, it will be worth it if you wake up loving what you do.  I don’t care how you try to spin it. Money does not buy happiness.

5)   Don’t give up. The things that are really worth having take hard work to get or to keep. They require time, patience, and passion. Make the time, find a way, and do what it is you have always wanted to do.

            At the writing conference, the majority of the attendees were 40+. Why? Some of them were already authors or published writers, but after socializing and networking, I learned that a lot of them were first time writers at their very first writing event. I was relived (for myself that is). I wasn’t the only person sweating my inexperience. The more I talked to people the more I learned how they were doctors, lawyers, psychologists, stay at home parents, who have all done everything the way they were “supposed to”. Go to school, follow a path, have a career (and in some cases get married, build a family and take care of them). Though this normalcy made them satisfied and comfortable with their lives, they all dreamt about writing. They were starting to fear having lived their life without actually pursuing a dream. So there they were, 20+ years later, saying Hell with it! I want to be a writer and a good one at that, so I’m going to go out there and study the art of writing.  

            What are you dreaming about when you aren’t living your busy life?

            I bet you don’t have a good enough excuse as to why you aren’t trying to reach it. If you want something bad enough, you will go after it. It’s human nature. So, I dare say, that maybe you just don’t want it bad enough. :-X

Stay tuned for the last main idea,

S.K.

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I Don’t Know What I Want, But I Do Know What I Don’t Want

30 Nov

    It’s okay to be more sure of what you DON’T want rather than what you DO want. Knowing what you don’t want is just as important. It helps you block off certain directions or paths through your journey. This makes your “options” list shorter and shorter which in then helps you conclude to what you still have interest in. This goes for all kinds of aspects of your life. You date and find characteristics in a significant other that you definitely don’t want for your long-term partner.  You explore dreams and passions to find you are no longer interested in them. You know you hate the cold and would never live or go to school somewhere where it snows a lot and gets below freezing. You always thought dogs were cute but went to a friend’s house to find that you really aren’t interested in having a pet that is high maintenance. You go to College and are required to take certain classes in a different array of subjects helping you learn what you definitely don’t want to study. And so on.


Don’t stop experiencing or experimenting with things, even if it always leads to you walking away from it. Don’t stop trying new things or pursuing things your heart thinks you want. There’s always a way to find time to explore your possibilities, especially if you find that after reading this, you are living things you don’t want. If you’re interested in picking up a hobby but don’t know what, then look up poetry clubs or karate lessons in your local listings. If you want to go back to school but cant decide on a specific program, pick up an online class at a local community college.  If you want a new job, start looking and start building your resume. If you don’t try something out then you won’t know if you like it or want it, and if you find that you don’t, then great. You tried, you experienced and you can honestly say YOU DON’T WANT IT without it coming back as a question later in life.


Move on to the next thing until you find what you cant live without. It’s not about finding what you want, sometimes it’s about what you can live without and moving forward to stumble upon what you can’t live without.


Now go, find out what makes you unsatisfied, unchallenged, and unenthused.
S.K.

Now go, find out what makes you unsatisfied, unchallenged, and unenthused.
S.K.

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Dream Catching Part 3/3 “Success = Happiness”

18 Nov

In this day and age, we are more likely to have more than one dream. We learn to stretch our wing span over an array of passions and learn to be a “jack of all trades”. Some of us can enjoy more than one thing but be a master at none. Others can be great at more than one thing and then just not be able to decide on one. The desirable thing to do is to be able to incorporate all you love in your everyday life, but even then, how do you isolate one or two dreams when there’s a million things that make your heart skip? How can you “catch” the right dreams when there are so many distractions and things in the way? How do you even know which dreams you should be catching?

In my first two posts, I’ve tried to provide perspective on the struggles that arise with finding, following or rediscovering dreams. This post sums up the biggest struggle that comes with following your dreams, and that is choosing a dream to follow.

At first, I wanted to lecture you on how to think through your options, but I was reminded that that’s not the issue with choosing a dream. Some of you just have too many passions and too little time, therefore some things need to be pursued now, while others just need to be let go of altogether. You only have one life to live and no matter how obvious this statement is, people tend to avoid the fact even if unintentionally. So, let me say it again. YOU only have ONE chance at this LIFE. Are you happy? What can you do to get happy? How can you maintain your happiness? What if you die tomorrow? ARE.YOU.HAPPY?

There are a few things I feel compelled to remind you of when it comes to choosing a single direction. Some of you might find this useful while others may already know this. Either way it’s pretty elementary but at the same time pretty easy to forget. When choosing a dream to follow, I find that it gets easy to focus on the wrong things. Remember to think about what you want rather than what looks good in society or what someone else wants for you. Remember to make important life decisions with your long term future in mind and not only your short term future. Remember to visualize a domino effect while thoroughly thinking through your options. How can one option lead to something else or how can it take something else away from you? Finally, remember to never ignore your heart or gut. After all, you want to make sure that no matter which way you decide to go, that you are attempting happiness to the fullest.

Once you make a decision, stick with it and don’t look back. Don’t taunt yourself with what-ifs, or hypothetical scenarios. Follow through with your decision wholeheartedly and if it fails, you should feel ecstatic that you tried, you experienced and you can move forward without it haunting you. Don’t ever think you made a wrong decision, because remember- at the time you made it, you felt it was the right thing to do. Don’t beat yourself up with hindsight reflection. If something is calling you now, follow it, be a believer in it, and see where it takes you. Sometimes it will take you nowhere, but do you think you will honestly regret trying?

Stay dreaming,
S.K.

Success is waking up in the morning, whoever you are, wherever you are, however old or young, and bounding out of bed because there’s something out there you love to do, that you believe in, that you’re good at — something that’s bigger than you are, and you can hardly wait to get at it again today.
- Whit Hobbs

I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: “If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?” And whenever the answer has been “No” for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something. – Steve Jobs

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