Tag Archives: Falling Apart

A Poem: Not Even Feeling Obsolete Is Absolute

18 May

I wrote this poem today because I am feeling down about some areas of my life that are not where they need to be. Sometimes some things fall apart and other things fall together or rather, some things are falling together and then things you thought you conquered are falling apart. It’s hard and it hurts. 

So this is a poem for you, from me. (or for me, from me).

Dear you,

to sometimes feel obsolete 
in a world
where nothing is absolute is sooooo
{gut.twisting.heart.aching.take a deep breath.}
normal

not even feeling obsolete is absolute.

at some point YOUR value 
will be absolutely invaluable, 
and the purposelessness you once felt
will be replaced with
the purpose 
that now drives you 
everyday…..

at work, at home,in relationships, and in every aspect of life.

you just need to find it.
find.your.purpose.

Love, me.

S.K.

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Reset Your Mindset With Adjustments in the Weather

26 Mar

Spring is a season that always gets you feeling good (or at least better), and it mostly has to do with the weather. There are studies that show that pleasant weather (approx. 72 degrees) makes you feel happier, more positive, cognitively clearer and more productive.

Well, I’ve decided to take this Spring (and probably the Summer), and use this push in the right direction to reevaluate, rearrange and recheck my spiritual weather so I can completely reset my mindset. What do I mean by this?

Well first of all, something spiritual is something that is relating to or affecting one’s spirit. And the spirit relates to one’s mind, one’s will and one’s feelings.  

I’ve had a rough few months and I’ve realized that I’m allowing my will to be broken. I’ve realized that I have allowed myself to be sucked in and affected by some personally gloomy weather. Some of my relationships have gone from sunny to cloudy to on the verge of a downpour all in a short period of time. Yet, I still allow myself to be a part of them. I have forgotten that I can always find control even over my uncontrollable, strictly circumstantial, personal situations. It’s just a matter of how I let them affect me and how I handle them. I’ve spent more time recently feeling bad rather than feeling good, feeling weak rather than feeling strong, and feeling restless rather than feeling focused. A lot of this has been created due to the people I allow to bring me down (friends and family), the uncontrollable events that I let break me, and the attitude I hold everyday.

And only very recently have I learned that I can choose to be brought down, broken, or negative or I can choose not to be.

Therefore, I am choosing to close the doors on the gloomy relationships/situations I can control and carry an oversized bright yellow umbrella to deflect the Spring showers I’m forced to walk through. I refuse to allow the humidity in my environment  keep me from fiercely breathing in the fresh air. And, finally, with a little change in perspective, I will teach myself to learn to positively adjust to the negative.

The weatherman can tell you it’s going to rain outside and you can prepare with an umbrella. But he may also tell you that it’s going to be sunny with no trace of a cloud and it could downpour. This is life. Be your own (spiritual) weatherman. Avoid the people who bring you storms, but always be prepared with an umbrella to deflect the things you can’t control. Don’t let a change in unpredictable weather in your life break your will, mind or emotions. You can always choose how you adjust, perceive and react. 

Reset your mindset with adjustments in the weather, 

S.K.

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Dream Catching Part 1/3 “When You Weren’t Looking”

12 Nov

In this day and age, we are more likely to have more than one dream. We learn to stretch our wing span over an array of passions and learn to be “jack of all trades”. Some of us can enjoy more than one thing but be a master at none. Others can be great at more than one thing and then just not be able to decide on one. The desirable thing to do is to be able to incorporate all you love in your everyday life, but even then, how do you isolate one or two dreams when there’s a million things that make your heart skip? How can you “catch” the right dreams when there are so many distractions and things in the way? How do you even know which dreams you should be catching?

From a young age we learn to have aspirations. We learn to become a part of groups, teams, and ideas. We learn to have dreams for our future. “I want to be an architect when I grow up”.  Sometimes as you keep getting older, you accumulate more and more passions and dreams. THEN, one day you might realize you are older, and “all grown up” yet you are still wishing on a star. Sometimes you realize that you dream hopped and have no idea where to land anymore, and other times you realize that you got distracted and are just completely, utterly lost. (Sidenote- some of you are just lucky, and know what you want and are out to get it).

Right now, it is the journey that provides the lessons and the growth rather than the destination. Sometimes, you veer off a path because of your wandering heart/mind in order to end up on the same exact path you started on. As I started high school, I wanted to be a child psychologist. Later, I veered away from this and followed a dream of being a surgeon with full force and face planted about 5 times before I was left without knowing what I wanted anymore. Then, I experimented with physical therapy, exercise science, and sports journalism. All of which I found stimulating in thought, but in practice, none of which made me jump at the idea of my future the way they should have. Now? I am planning to go back to school for psychology. But let me tell you this, all the veering away, the uncertainty and the struggles created a writer inside of me AND helped me scratch off my “Dreams?” list which in turn helped me narrow down to what I really want. I wouldn’t call any of my time spent away from my real dream, a waste of time.

The process of being taken away from one dream and falling into another leads you to learn more about yourself and your life. It’s the idea of things that are better than the reality, and the only way to find out is to experiment the way I did. Dream hopping can help you eliminate what you don’t want so you can finally find what you do want, even if it was always there in the first place. It’s the journey, not the destination that makes finding, discovering, losing and re-discovering dreams so incredible.

Stay dreaming,
S.K.

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Some Things Fall Apart, Some Things Fall Together

5 Nov

      Life is so unexpected and there are always unknown variables thrown at you everyday that may tear you apart. Try to hold it together. You can plan for life but remember that everything is tentative until it actually happens. 

    Some things are going to happen that are out of your control. Your computer may crash, you may get stuck in the worst traffic, you may be forced to wait an extra day for something, people may cancel plans you have been looking forward to, you might break a leg right before a HUGE event, etc. things. just. happen.

    You have two choices in circumstances like these. First, you can get angry, let it ruin your entire day, be the least appealing person for anyone to be around and mope. OR you can acknowledge that you are disappointed and frustrated, take a deep breathe (or ten), and then carry on with your day and your life. 

    Make the most of the situation. Spend the extra time in your car in traffic talking to friend you lost touch with, or just jamming out to your favorite tunes. Spend the few days without your computer, finishing a book, or restarting a project you may have lost on it (the second time around is usually better anyway). Spend the free Saturday you now have, hanging out with your family or doing things you always put to the side (like trying that new recipe you found five years ago). Own that cast, laugh about it and use it as a way to greet and meet new people at that big event. 

    There’s always something that can come out of unexpected or unplanned for situations. If you spend your time worrying, or being angry because something didn’t go your way or how it was “meant” to then you might be blinding yourself from something even better or bigger. If you just let yourself focus on how things could have been if they didn’t fall apart then you are wasting valuable time. Sometimes one thing falls apart because it just wasn’t meant to happen. Other times one thing falls apart, because something else is meant to fall together. Keep your mind open and demand yourself to stay positive and find the silver lining in sucky situations. There is always a silver lining. It just might be incredibly small, so you need to actively look for it to find it. 

    Maybe you read the last paragraph and thought “wow, what a bunch of bull”. Alright, try this. Let things fall apart and go in different ways other then what you had planned. Be upset about it. Wish you could change things or turn back time. Waste your time and energy focusing on something that is the way it is and there’s nothing you can do about it.Let me know what you gain from that.

    You can allow these unknown variables to be thrown at your head, give you a headache and ruin your day(s), OR you can catch them, reshape them and make use of them for something positive. The choice is yours.

Think about that while your weekend comes to an end and your “planned” week commences.
S.K.

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Pick Yourself Up

24 Sep

   Ever since I entered my twenties I have felt like things are just falling apart more then they are coming together. It feels like I’m constantly moving, but only in a circular motion. I have found some of my narrow paths where I am excited and adventurous and passionate but very quickly do they disappear and are lost. It’s frustrating, disappointing and stressful…Then I realize, I need to snap out of it, make sure I am still adequately breathing, and step back.  

     What you are meant for now or what you are even doing now, may not be what you are meant for later. The people you are friends with now may not be in your life in a year. The relationships you’ve held to the highest power and importance may disintegrate tomorrow. So what’s the coping mechanism?

     If something falls through, you feel rejected, or you have just lost any sense of direction because either there are too many options and it’s all jumbled up or you just don’t know where to look, then embrace it. Embrace the breakdown. That’s prime time for recreation.

     What is recreation? Recreation is defined as an activity of leisure. The need to do something for recreation is an essential element of human biology or psychology. It is also defined as the refreshment of health or spirits. What is re-creation? The state or instance of creating again or anew. 

     In other words, when you feel rejected, purposeless, lost, lonely, and confused you need to take a breath, step back and recreate your dreams, your life, and your perspectives. This will take place several times in your life, but every time around you readjust, redefine, refresh, reset and RECREATE with more force and a fierce sense of determination. One time, it really will all fall into place. Until then, let yourself fail, fall, and break apart- because that’s when you are in the perfect position to piece yourself back together into a better and stronger person.

     Nothing is perfect the first time around but you have to try in order to understand what needs to be different or more importantly to learn more about yourself and your mind and heart.

I believe in you.
S.K.

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