Tag Archives: Let Go

The Things You Can Create With Your Mind Are Limitless And Can Drive You Crazy

29 May

Sometimes when things happen and they are vague or don’t go as we expect, we tend to overanalyze them. For example, you aren’t getting the validation you need in your relationships or at work, or maybe there’s an unknown reason why someone did something to you or said something about you. Maybe you aren’t seeing the progress you want for something you’ve been working on, or maybe things that have been going smoothly are all of a sudden falling apart.

The vague, the unknown, the unexpected, the unforeseen. They all lead to serious anticipation build up or frustration boiling over and we think, think, think as to how we can change things, make things different….better.

We overanalyze as a way to try to understand things that we just can’t seem to grasp. Why did that happen? Why didn’t it? Why did they say that? Why didn’t they? Why won’t this work? Why is it still like this? Why? Why? Why?

So, what do we do? We start trying to think of reasons and create our own solutions and this can get really bad. 

Sometimes we need to just take things at face value and that’s it. Don’t expect more, don’t think about it too much, give it time and let it be as it will be. Don’t try to make up your own reasoning because at some point during this process you will start thinking of the worst reasons and the worst case scenarios and this will only haunt you until you can understand the “why”…if you ever truly get to understand it.

“There is a thought in your mind right now. The longer you hold on to it, the more you dwell upon it, the more life you give to that thought. Give it enough life, and it will become real. So make sure the thought is indeed a great one.” —Ralph Matron

We, as humans, have the ability to bring to life monsters and demons that don’t exist in reality. We make them exist. We allow them space to exist in our minds. Sometimes they can seem rational and explainable but most of the time they are irrational and just a way to have something to hold on to when you’re confused, frustrated, or feeling out of place. A way for you to regain control in situations where you don’t have the control. I truly believe that sometimes we just create our own problems. 

Out of fear of the unknown and unexplained, we create and then believe in our most feared reasons and explanations for things. Then we go crazy.

Sometimes it really is just all in your own head. 

S.K.

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Time For The Annual Reflection

30 Dec

           We all want to start the New Year right.  Here are some things I generally start around the New Year to help me feel refreshed, rejuvenated and have more clarity. Instead of focusing on resolutions, I like to spend some time in an annual reflection that ends with reorganization of my mind and heart for a better year.  

            First, make amends. Don’t start the New Year with loose ends. If you have a long lost friend you’ve been thinking of, connect now. If you’ve been too stubborn in a recent argument, admit your faults now.  Most importantly, if you aren’t where you hoped you would be today, forgive yourself and find peace NOW. Make amends with people in your life, with yourself, and with your situations. 

            Second, let go. Let go of all the toxic in your life. This geos for food you’ve been meaning to cut out, habits you want to break, AND people who bring you down. Don’t hold on to things, people, or ideas that make you unhappy. Life is short and for the next year try to remember that you can manipulate your own life so it’s something worth living. 

            Thirdly, hold on. Hold on to everything you have that makes you happy. Don’t get so caught up in what you want to change for 2012 that you forget about what you want to stay the same. The New Year is a time for resolutions, for changes, for making your life better, but remember…there are things in your life that you take for granted, that you have right now and wouldn’t want to change. So, hold on to them, and show appreciation. 

            Finally be at peace. I have found that happiness is a counterpart of peace. Have your desires, your hopes, and your resolutions but also find peace with what you do have. Be thankful for everything 2011 has brought to you…even the struggles. Right now, you are who you are, and you are where you are because of what happened in 2011.  I say this from personal experience. 2011 was not the best year for me, but honestly, today, I am happy to be who I am, and where I am. Only with this peace with my past, can I be happy in my present, and have more hope for my future. So, I advise that before you take some time to think about what you want for 2012…step back and admire what and where 2011 brought you.  

Happy New Year, 
S.K.

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Forgive and Forge On

2 Dec

           We all make mistakes. Yes, especially you. It’s really important for people to be able to master the skill of forgiving. It’s important to allow for shortcomings or weaknesses, because after all no one is perfect, especially not you. This goes for the most distant relationships you have, like the waitress messing up your order, to the most intimate relationship you have with yourself.  The latter is what I want to focus on.

            I think it’s interesting that generally those who are hard on themselves are willing to easily forgive others.  Why is that? What makes anyone else more privileged to mess up and be forgiven so quickly over you? Why is it that we are able to so quickly overlook the flaws of others rather than our own?

            I wrote a previous post on how being there for yourself first is most important. With that said, it’s important to be able to be gentle with your self too. It’s okay to be hard on yourself when it comes to motivation, ambition and getting things done, but if you mess up? It’s not okay to treat yourself poorly. Be upset, take note of your mistakes and learn from it. The only way to move forward or forge on is to be able to find peace in your mistakes- both the unintentional ones and the really awful ones. I write this in hopes that you are a good person at heart. You know the difference between right and wrong and bad and good. If you have made a mistake that you know shouldn’t be forgiven by someone else (i.e. lying, cheating, etc) than that is enough punishment in itself. Be angry at yourself, change, but the most important thing is to come to terms with it and still love yourself.  

            So I say forgive and forge on, not forgive and forget, because I think you should forgive yourself and find peace and love in your worst moments but also remember and learn from it. Hold it in the bottom drawer of your heart as a reminder of who you don’t ever want to be again and use it as catalyst to be better. 

We all make mistakes, especially you and me.

Forgive and forge on,

S.K.

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Don’t Hold On, Just Let Go

10 Oct

       Sometimes the best way to break through is to never look back. We hold on to things because they are comfortable and feel safe. This can be a friendship/relationship that you know is unhealthy but the feeling of being needed and wanted keeps you around. Or pursuing a career because it’s what you have been working for half of your life and you don’t have the guts to actually throw all that time away even though you are unhappy. Or being offered a job or opportunity in a new city/country which means being far away from your family, friends and loved ones. 

    It’s incredible the extents we will go just to hold on to something that we’ve known for so long. It’s not even a matter of having to be aware of the need for change but more the actual follow through. There’s always the fear of the unknown and then comes the unbearable back and forth of second guessing. The right things and the best things are usually always the hardest. Don’t hold yourself down or back. If you have any inkling that something should change then don’t ignore it. Breathe. Let go. Take a step into the unknown and explore everything you have been blinded from before. Something new and exciting and better is waiting for you, but you must take the first step towards it. 

     Keep in mind that there will be brief moments of darkness and fear and doubt and uncertainty but have faith that there’s more out there. Don’t run away because of fear. If worse comes to worst, you will have tried something whole heartedly and it didn’t work out. Then you take a step to the right or left and make your way around it to the next better thing waiting for you. If you don’t try, then you will be stuck in the same place forever, and that would be a shame.

S.K.

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