Tag Archives: Life Is Short

Don’t Flatline Until You’re Dead

11 Dec

When you’re up –  savor it, appreciate it, love it and live it. 

When you’re down-  have courage, find strength, trust yourself, and know that you will get back up. 

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This is exactly why I started this blog – to remind myself and you that there will always be highs and there will always be lows, but you can’t really have one without the other. Don’t shy away from taking chances, or being vulnerable just to escape the lows. Truth is, if you don’t experience the lows, you will never experience the highs. 

Living just to allow yourself to remain on a flatline out of fear or convention is a shame and a waste. Live. To be alive is to live through the ups and the downs.

Don’t flatline until you’re dead,

S.K.

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The Other Side of The Window “Stop Wasting Your Time (I Don’t Care How Old You Are)”

30 Jan

  As I mentioned in my pervious post, there were three main ideas I took away with me from the conference I attended last weekend. Each one plays a subrole in the main idea of looking at your life from the outside in.  The first thing was learning how to veer away from those you are comfortable with to vulnerably and daringly join a crowd. 

            Continuing on… the second idea I took away with me was this: don’t let age stop you from pursuing a dream. I know this seems pretty basic and self-explanatory, but I beg to differ.  I’m not talking about the perfect career or the amazing lifestyle. I’m talking about the dreams that you stuff away in the bottom drawer because they seem unreachable, or take too much time, or something you have absolutely no experience in. I’m talking about the “bucket list” dreams. Well here are five points to remind you that you don’t need to dream your dreams…instead live them.

1)   Just do it. Whatever it is. Pick it up as a hobby. Your dreams don’t need to be a time consuming, absolute, all or nothing endeavor for you to be fulfilled. If you love it, do it. It’s really that simple. Really.  Then you can find a way to take it up full time or you might be fulfilled as is.

2)   Do it for yourself. If you are pursuing a dream for someone else or to get noticed then don’t waste your time. It will become work more than a passion. Even then, when you do pursue it for yourself, keep in mind that you don’t need validation from others to like it, enjoy it, do it, love it or make it a priority.

3)   Be aggressive. Network, go to conferences, and find local groups. Chances are you are not the only person who wants to learn the drums at 40 or become an author after taking only one English class in your entire post-high school career, or become a scuba diving instructor even though you have no idea how to swim. Go out there, no doubts or hesitation. Everything else will fall into place. If you don’t put yourself out there you will never know. Prime example is Langston Hughes- he worked all kinds of odd jobs to make ends meet. At one point, he was a busboy at a hotel when he assertively handed his poetry to a famous poet who came in. That was how he got discovered. Be aggressive.  

4)   Don’t be scared. Don’t be scared to walk away from what you aren’t happy with to pursue a dream. If you have to live frugally to barely make ends meet, it will be worth it if you wake up loving what you do.  I don’t care how you try to spin it. Money does not buy happiness.

5)   Don’t give up. The things that are really worth having take hard work to get or to keep. They require time, patience, and passion. Make the time, find a way, and do what it is you have always wanted to do.

            At the writing conference, the majority of the attendees were 40+. Why? Some of them were already authors or published writers, but after socializing and networking, I learned that a lot of them were first time writers at their very first writing event. I was relived (for myself that is). I wasn’t the only person sweating my inexperience. The more I talked to people the more I learned how they were doctors, lawyers, psychologists, stay at home parents, who have all done everything the way they were “supposed to”. Go to school, follow a path, have a career (and in some cases get married, build a family and take care of them). Though this normalcy made them satisfied and comfortable with their lives, they all dreamt about writing. They were starting to fear having lived their life without actually pursuing a dream. So there they were, 20+ years later, saying Hell with it! I want to be a writer and a good one at that, so I’m going to go out there and study the art of writing.  

            What are you dreaming about when you aren’t living your busy life?

            I bet you don’t have a good enough excuse as to why you aren’t trying to reach it. If you want something bad enough, you will go after it. It’s human nature. So, I dare say, that maybe you just don’t want it bad enough. :-X

Stay tuned for the last main idea,

S.K.

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Life is Short, Are You Fulfilled?

12 Oct

      So, two days ago I lost a friend of mine. I am still in denial and disbelief. She went to JMU and her last status on facebook was Saturday afternoon talking about how she was going longboarding and enjoying the beautiful day. She got into an accident that day, and passed a few days later. Its remarkable to me how fast this life can come and go for some people. My friend was incredible. She had a vibrant personality. She was always up even when things were looking down. I have never met anyone who could be so positive, fun, playful, trustworthy and caring all at once and all of the time. I miss her but when I think about it, she lived a more full life than most people, even older people. She made sure to be positive, be happy and seriously savor the taste of life. I am inspired by her and that is why I am writing this post.

      Life is short. I don’t know what to say. We all suffer through our crises but the important thing is to keep it moving. It’s not easy…It is most definitely not easy to feel fulfilled everyday, but sometimes when it’s not the big things, you have to indulge and savor the little things. If you can change it, change it. If you can’t, change your perspective or attitude. Either way, find a way to find joy and fulfillment in everything you do. 

      I am off on a 10 day adventure with my mom but I want to leave you here with FIVE pieces of advice, and THREE specific activities that will take 30 minutes or less to do that can help you feel more fulfilled (at least in my opinion, try it out if you are willing- what do you have to lose?)

      This general advice is astonishingly elementary. The things that you teach kids but then somehow they learn to forget over time. Keep them in mind, always. 

1. Don’t hold grudges. It’s simply a waste of time. 

2. Overuse the right words. I know that actions speak louder than words but you can never ever say good things to someone too much or too often. It’s easy to feel like people should “know” how you feel about them, but take the time to remind them once in awhile that you love them or miss them or are just grateful for them. Whether it is your parent, or a friend, or even the janitor that you pass by everyday at work.  

3. Don’t be too stubborn to apologize or admit you are wrong. 

4. Don’t be so judgmental. People have their days and have their stories. If the sales clerk is on edge a little bit, give her a break. Don’t snap back. No one is perfect and it’s easy to judge and talk about people, but honestly let it go. You don’t know everything about everyone. Trust in people and believe that they may act the way they do for a legitimate reason. 

5. Don’t complain so much. Spend more time concerned about your attitude and your way of living. “Attitudes are contagious, is yours worth catching?”

Three things I want you to do within the next 10 days if you are willing to make the time.

1.Write an email/text/letter/card, or if you are bold enough make the phone call to someone 
     a. that you have lost touch with but miss dearly. Tell them you miss them, or that you still care. You don’t have to be in each others lives again the way you used to be but share your feelings with them. 
     b. that you take for granted. A friend you have known for years, a family member you talk to everyday or a co-worker who makes working more bearable for you. 

2. Write down a realistic dream that you always put off or are waiting to happen to you. For instance, I would write “I want to live in NYC for a few years”. Now, write out a plan step-by-step on how you can achieve that. Mine would say 1. Finish school, 2. Get a job right now and save money, 3. Start applying for jobs in NYC, 4. Find a place to live, 5. Move in when you have accomplished 1-4. 6. Call friends in NYC and celebrate. Keep this with you or somewhere you can see it frequently. What do you really want? How are you going to get it? Now go, get it.

3. Choose three activities that you LOVE but don’t make time for- leisure reading, yoga, running, scrapbooking, playing a video game, watching a show, reading a magazine, writing poetry, learning a new language, cooking, baking, playing poker with friends…etc. and do these three activities at least once in the next ten days. Make time for the things you don’t need but want. The things that make you extremely content but are for the most part worthless. It’s a part of living. Enjoy.

If you knew you were going to die in a week would you be happy with what you are doing today? Stop putting things off, start making more effort, stop indulging in others lives, and start recreating yours. 

Life is short. I don’t know how else to say it. I was hit incredibly hard with this harsh realization, and it’s time for me to make some changes. 

Happy living, 
S.K.

PS. If you do decide to do the three things or one of them then please go to my feedback page on the blog and share with me your story. I would like to collaborate these and maybe make a post out of them. Did it or will it make a difference for you? 

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In Honor of Steve Jobs

5 Oct
Steve Jobs made a commencement speech back in 2005. Here are three quotes that I think should resonate with you for the rest of your life. I know everyone has their own opinion on Steve Jobs and Apple, but there’s no denying that he was a very persistent, hardworking, persevering, strong willed man. We could all learn from him. Sometimes the best lessons you learn come from witnessing other people’s lives. Steve Jobs was an ordinary man with an ordinary life, and if you met someone now who made his mistakes or lived the way he did, you would probably think he was average and maybe even incapable. That because you stayed in school, or didn’t get your high school girlfriend pregnant that you might even be better than him. Everyone has their own paths. Steve Jobs is a true testament of that. Follow yours and don’t have any regrets.

“You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. “

“You’ve got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don’t settle.”

Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

If you would like to read the rest of his speech, you can find it here- http://news.stanford.edu/news/2005/june15/jobs-061505.html

S.K

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