Tag Archives: Quote

Settling vs. Setting The Foundation

7 Dec

We’ve all been told, don’t settle, follow your dreams, reach for the stars blah blah blah.

Does it ever feel like you’re following and reaching and trying but you’re not moving fast enough or you’re not even close to where you thought you’d be right now? So then you think maybe you should just settle. And then your self-esteem plummets and self-confidence jumps out of the window and you question what you’re even worth or capable of….STOP…

Don’t get so discouraged-

You have to set the foundation for the things you really want. This may be mistaken for settling but it’s far from it.

So taking a job that’s not quite up to par for what you want to do isn’t settling. You’re setting the foundation of experience, skill acquisition, time and money in order to keep moving to where you want to be. Only if you stop working hard and trying to move up is when you’re settling for less.

Giving someone an honest chance to be your friend or significant other and them letting you down or mistreating you is only settling if you a)  don’t stand up for yourself or b) don’t leave the relationship if nothing ever changes. Otherwise you are just setting the foundation for what you know you need and/or want out of a friendship/relationship. (Remember: There’s something to be admired when people let others in their lives before making a judgement and when people give second chances). 

We all have lists upon lists of things that need to get done- within the hour, within the day, within the week..Don’t be so hard on yourself if you’re not moving as fast as you want, or not accomplishing things as quickly….All you can do is work hard, be genuine to your pace and progress will always be there. Don’t give up or settle because it’s taking a long time, or as Earl Nightingale said -“Never give up on a dream because of the time it will take to accomplish it. The time will pass anyways.” 

 

S.K.

 

 

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Five Fundamentals For Any Change

21 Oct

I am not a fan of change, says the girl who writes a blog to help you get through life transitions….

I’ve been struggling with my own personal struggles recently and I’ve realized five fundamental things about change-

1) There’s no step by step process you can take to be ready for change or to change something….you just have to do it. Once you take the action to either make the change or accept the change, your mind and heart will slowly catch up to the decision — that disconnect is the hardest period of change. (Read an old post- Adaptation)

2) When you realize you have to change something (and it wasn’t done for you by outside factors), it’s because something is going fundamentally wrong with your approach and process you’re already taking. Changing your approach might not mean losing something but rather securing it.

3) Sometimes changing things up is exactly what you have to do to be certain that how things originally were are exactly how they should be. Process of elimination. 

4) If you don’t like how things are now the only way to change it is to change it. Otherwise stop complaining. “By changing nothing, nothing changes.” -Tony Robbins

5) The energy you’re putting in to holding on to things sometimes needs to be redirected to letting things go. At least with the latter you’ll get an outcome instead of being stuck.

Happy Sunday, 

S.K.

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Routines, Wednesdays and Making Time

18 Apr

First, I actually really like Wednesdays. I know…I’m weird. But realistically, it is one of my most productive AND pleasant days of the week. Why?

On Thursdays I am too anxious about Friday, and on Friday, I unwind and relax or hang out with friends. Then on Saturday, I make time to do things during the day but it’s Saturday and I always know there is Sunday. So then Sunday comes around and I’m stressed. I have to make up what I didn’t do at the end of the past week and prepare for the upcoming week. Then there’s Monday…no explanation needed. Then on Tuesdays I still feel the beginning of the week blues and it’s kind of my slump day but then….Wednesday!

Wednesdays, in my life, seem to be the days when I’m most organized, productive and clear headed. The weekend rush and blues are over and I’m not too concerned with the upcoming weekend yet so it’s the one day out of the week where I am productive. When I say productive I don’t just mean getting things done…I mean, it’s the day where I do things for me. I work on my personal projects, and side gigs because I have everything else in order. It’s the one day where I really exemplify my life motto “Don’t ever fall into a routine and get too busy for what’s important” and am consistently taking steps to pursue my bigger dreams. 

I want to remind you to shake things up, even if for just one day a week. We are all on the path to somewhere but are stuck in this one place (physically, emotionally, mentally) because it’s what needs to be done right now. Whether it’s a job or a living situation or a mindset. Right? But that does not mean you are actively pursuing your dreams. My biggest fear is that I’ll wake up when I’m older and realize that I didn’t use my time wisely. Things always need to be done. But you can always do what you need to AND do what you want to. My best friend just asked me yesterday how I can do so much in one day and I said “Easy. After I do the hard stuff and the boring stuff, I don’t need to unwind. My eyes are on the prize for what I want for myself, and when I actively am doing small things to pursue that then it’s not work, it’s when I feel the most alive.”  

 ”If it’s important, you’ll find a way and if it’s not, you’ll find an excuse” – Unknown

S.K.

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A (Very) Short Post on Being a Somebody

23 Feb

We all have our aspirations to be somebody, or to be something. No one grows up and says “I want to be a nobody”. Most people want to be remembered for something, leave a mark on someone, and/or feel fulfilled with the life they pursue. 

“I always wanted to be somebody, I should have been more specific” – Lily Tomlin

You can’t be somebody until you see yourself actually being somebody. Be specific. Who is it you want to be? What do you want to be known for? What is it you want to accomplish? This can be a series of small things or something that becomes an ultimate goal that you are actively and constantly working towards. Why is this so important to you? How can you get there and how will you work towards it every day? 

If you can’t close your eyes, and actually envision yourself doing something (this is for anything you ever do), then you have already provided yourself with more obstacles and struggles than is necessary.

Have confidence, know what you want, outline your goals, picture yourself being that somebody, reevaluate regularly to make appropriate changes (because life happens), don’t take your eyes off your goal and go.

S.K.

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Dream Catching Part 3/3 “Success = Happiness”

18 Nov

In this day and age, we are more likely to have more than one dream. We learn to stretch our wing span over an array of passions and learn to be a “jack of all trades”. Some of us can enjoy more than one thing but be a master at none. Others can be great at more than one thing and then just not be able to decide on one. The desirable thing to do is to be able to incorporate all you love in your everyday life, but even then, how do you isolate one or two dreams when there’s a million things that make your heart skip? How can you “catch” the right dreams when there are so many distractions and things in the way? How do you even know which dreams you should be catching?

In my first two posts, I’ve tried to provide perspective on the struggles that arise with finding, following or rediscovering dreams. This post sums up the biggest struggle that comes with following your dreams, and that is choosing a dream to follow.

At first, I wanted to lecture you on how to think through your options, but I was reminded that that’s not the issue with choosing a dream. Some of you just have too many passions and too little time, therefore some things need to be pursued now, while others just need to be let go of altogether. You only have one life to live and no matter how obvious this statement is, people tend to avoid the fact even if unintentionally. So, let me say it again. YOU only have ONE chance at this LIFE. Are you happy? What can you do to get happy? How can you maintain your happiness? What if you die tomorrow? ARE.YOU.HAPPY?

There are a few things I feel compelled to remind you of when it comes to choosing a single direction. Some of you might find this useful while others may already know this. Either way it’s pretty elementary but at the same time pretty easy to forget. When choosing a dream to follow, I find that it gets easy to focus on the wrong things. Remember to think about what you want rather than what looks good in society or what someone else wants for you. Remember to make important life decisions with your long term future in mind and not only your short term future. Remember to visualize a domino effect while thoroughly thinking through your options. How can one option lead to something else or how can it take something else away from you? Finally, remember to never ignore your heart or gut. After all, you want to make sure that no matter which way you decide to go, that you are attempting happiness to the fullest.

Once you make a decision, stick with it and don’t look back. Don’t taunt yourself with what-ifs, or hypothetical scenarios. Follow through with your decision wholeheartedly and if it fails, you should feel ecstatic that you tried, you experienced and you can move forward without it haunting you. Don’t ever think you made a wrong decision, because remember- at the time you made it, you felt it was the right thing to do. Don’t beat yourself up with hindsight reflection. If something is calling you now, follow it, be a believer in it, and see where it takes you. Sometimes it will take you nowhere, but do you think you will honestly regret trying?

Stay dreaming,
S.K.

Success is waking up in the morning, whoever you are, wherever you are, however old or young, and bounding out of bed because there’s something out there you love to do, that you believe in, that you’re good at — something that’s bigger than you are, and you can hardly wait to get at it again today.
- Whit Hobbs

I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: “If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?” And whenever the answer has been “No” for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something. – Steve Jobs

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A Little Post on My Personality Paradox

9 Nov

       I saw this quote from my all time favorite author, Paulo Coelho and it made me think about a few things that I would like to share.

“Those who love giving advice on our garden never tend their own plant”

       If there is anything that I have become increasingly overwhelmed by recently, besides the pressure, desires and uncertainty, it’s the idea of being alone. Not lonely. Just alone. Even though I enjoy my downtime, I still spend more time thinking about others and caring for others than I do for myself. I trust easily. Give willingly. Fall hard. All for my friends, family, significant others, strangers who have left an impression, those in need, etc. This sounds great in theory, and of course it’s a wonderful thing to be able to be selfless and kind and compassionate, but at what expense of your own?

     Learn from me. Be your own best friend. It’s great to have a support system surrounding you but it’s important to be able to stand on your own two feet and take a walk by yourself. It’s incredible to be able to talk yourself through the hard times first and foremost and then have your friends and family as secondary, backup support. You’re not doing anybody any good, even if your intentions are in place by neglecting your needs to take on those of others. It’s like they say on the plane, first place your oxygen mask, then help those around you. If you are trying to help someone else first and run out of air, then you’re not doing anybody else any good. 

     If you had a healthier, more loving relationship with yourself, imagine how much better of a family member, friend, significant other and social service member you could be. Imagine the confidence this builds, the security, the self love, the compassion, the kindness, the patience…

      I wholeheartedly believe that being able to be there for yourself at all times, and in all aspects of life is a life skill everyone should learn and master. It’s not selfish because the long term effects are selfishly selfless. The better you can be for yourself, the better you can be for the rest of the world.

       So now, I would like to take the time to introduce you…to you. Enjoy your company, enjoy learning more about you, and enjoy taking care of you. I hear you’re pretty great. 

S.K.

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In Honor of Steve Jobs

5 Oct
Steve Jobs made a commencement speech back in 2005. Here are three quotes that I think should resonate with you for the rest of your life. I know everyone has their own opinion on Steve Jobs and Apple, but there’s no denying that he was a very persistent, hardworking, persevering, strong willed man. We could all learn from him. Sometimes the best lessons you learn come from witnessing other people’s lives. Steve Jobs was an ordinary man with an ordinary life, and if you met someone now who made his mistakes or lived the way he did, you would probably think he was average and maybe even incapable. That because you stayed in school, or didn’t get your high school girlfriend pregnant that you might even be better than him. Everyone has their own paths. Steve Jobs is a true testament of that. Follow yours and don’t have any regrets.

“You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. “

“You’ve got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don’t settle.”

Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

If you would like to read the rest of his speech, you can find it here- http://news.stanford.edu/news/2005/june15/jobs-061505.html

S.K

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The World Is Not Your Oyster

2 Oct

      Everyone knows the saying “the world is your oyster”.  It means that you can achieve anything because you have the freedom to do so. Well I don’t really get it, but since when do clichés ever really make sense? Here’s a more literal view on the saying and my perspective on it.

Did you know that pearls are formed in oysters only after a foreign substance makes its way into the oyster and starts irritating it? The oyster compensates by secreting what is called nacre which is composite material produced by the inner layer of the shell, and after enough layers of nacre, ta-da a pearl is formed. Nacre is strong, resilient and iridescent. So is your heart and mind.

I don’t want the world to be your oyster. I want your early years to be your oyster. The years where you have your ultimate mental/emotional/physical development and grow more into your own. The years where you discover more about yourself than in any other time. The years where you form and mold and become who you are. These years are the most important and simultaneously the hardest. These are the years when struggles are more apparent than ever whether its finding a job, following a passion, being in school, feeling mentally disturbed, falling in love, falling out of love, having your heart broken by family, friends and significant others, realizing your strengths but also your weaknesses, making mistakes and feeling punished for them by others or yourself, and living carelessly and having regrets. You get it. The years between late high school and post high school (college or moving out or staying at home and working). This can also carry into your late 20s.

    Fight so hard and so badly so you can develop the strength to overcome anything. If you don’t fight then you will be a shell of yourself and confine yourself to your oyster. Don’t do that. Only after the struggles and the hardships can you develop your pearl.  Pearls come in all shapes, sizes and colors. Regardless, we all have that uniqueness in us, but it’s your duty to treasure it, nurture it and support it.

S.K.

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Protect and Conquer

22 Sep

        It’s really lonely and hard to be an outlier. To feel as though what you believe, how you feel and how you have come to view things is not comfortably accepted or shared by those around you- especially when you’re starting this chapter of branching out from what you’ve known for the past few years or accepting that you’re growing and changing from how you’ve naturally always been. 

      But the truth is, there comes at least one point in your life when your faith will lead you to an empty island and you will quickly second guess everything you thought you were sure of. For example, deciding to take time off from the expected four years of undergrad, or deciding not to take a well-paying job so you can travel around the world with a free clinic for a year struggling to make ends meet, or finally deciding that what you’ve been studying or working towards all of this time actually doesn’t excite you. So after having realizations like these, what are you left with? A deep sense of fear, uncertainty and doubt.

      Take a deep breath.

      Your feelings, thoughts, dreams and passions are yours. They deserve to be embraced, nurtured and especially protected. If you won’t fight for them, no one will. If you won’t stand by them, they will disappear. If you won’t follow through with them, you are doing an injustice to yourself and this world. There are approximately 6,963,714,069 people in this world and you are bound to find people who share your perspectives and goals, but until then, stand strong, fight for what makes your reality real, and most importantly stay true to who you are.

     After all, some of the most influential people today took chances. Steve Jobs for example is one of the greatest innovators of our time and he dropped out of college after one semester. He proved himself not to be inadequate or incapable. He just decided to take another path, one that he created himself and ended with his co-founding of a multinational corporation, Apple.

“Believe with all of your heart that you will do what you were made to do” – Orison Swett Marden

So, here is to reaching high, chasing dreams and acting on what you want, feel or think you need. Remember: everything is tentative until it actually happens. So go, and do. There’s no time like the present.

I believe in you.
S.K.

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It’s Only The Beginning

21 Sep

        Many of you have become my loyal readers, and as you know I already have a blog. So, why did I go through the trouble of starting a new one? Well, they say that after you start something, you should work at it for a while and then become aware of its imperfections and improve it into something better…. here is my something better. Plus, I have decided to keep my first blog strictly creative writing/poetry based while I write more quarter life crisis themed posts to this one. I hope you enjoy. I welcome and encourage your words on the feedback page. Thanks for YOUR support. :)

       Labor day marks the start of a year for me. It’s always been the time where school is just starting, or maybe the first time you won’t be in school, and the official ending of summer. It’s usually when I develop a new set of goals for myself. I like to call them my personal new year’s resolutions…which I always end up neglecting sometime by November.
         It’s easy to fall into the same habits every year and then tell yourself that THIS year, will be different but let’s be honest…we both know it never is. Honestly, it’s a “reality slap” type of change in my life that forces me into rethinking my habits, and readjusting my character. This can be something subtle yet mind-blowing or a full on explosion that takes over your life. Examples to graduating college and realizing that it is completely wasteful and unacceptable for you to take a three hour nap in the middle of the day. Or moving out of the house and not being able to depend on your mom’s home cooking for dinner every night. Or falling in love with someone who is smarter and maybe even better looking than you and feeling like you need to meet your potential to provide what they deserve. Or having your heart broken by someone you freely and willfully gave your heart to and feeling like you should have been more cautious. Or realizing that your perspectives and opinions are growing to be completely different from your parents or any other role model you desperately looked up to causing you to discover your sense of individuality.
          However, the most successful game changer for me that I am currently experiencing at a cosmic level is becoming aware that this world is a lot larger than just your tiny reality in it; and if you want to have a place in it, no matter where or doing what, then you absolutely have to become the best and most effective version of yourself.  After all…your habits become your character and your character is your distinct being, and your being is what leaves a mark in this world.

“Watch your thoughts, they become words. Watch your words, they become actions. 
Watch your actions, they become habits.
 Watch your habits, they become your character.
 Watch your character, it becomes your destiny.” - Frank Outlaw

So here is to a new year, reformed habits and a better lifestyle. All which will help you help yourself.

I believe in you.
-S.K.

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