Tag Archives: Relationships

Settling vs. Setting The Foundation

7 Dec

We’ve all been told, don’t settle, follow your dreams, reach for the stars blah blah blah.

Does it ever feel like you’re following and reaching and trying but you’re not moving fast enough or you’re not even close to where you thought you’d be right now? So then you think maybe you should just settle. And then your self-esteem plummets and self-confidence jumps out of the window and you question what you’re even worth or capable of….STOP…

Don’t get so discouraged-

You have to set the foundation for the things you really want. This may be mistaken for settling but it’s far from it.

So taking a job that’s not quite up to par for what you want to do isn’t settling. You’re setting the foundation of experience, skill acquisition, time and money in order to keep moving to where you want to be. Only if you stop working hard and trying to move up is when you’re settling for less.

Giving someone an honest chance to be your friend or significant other and them letting you down or mistreating you is only settling if you a)  don’t stand up for yourself or b) don’t leave the relationship if nothing ever changes. Otherwise you are just setting the foundation for what you know you need and/or want out of a friendship/relationship. (Remember: There’s something to be admired when people let others in their lives before making a judgement and when people give second chances). 

We all have lists upon lists of things that need to get done- within the hour, within the day, within the week..Don’t be so hard on yourself if you’re not moving as fast as you want, or not accomplishing things as quickly….All you can do is work hard, be genuine to your pace and progress will always be there. Don’t give up or settle because it’s taking a long time, or as Earl Nightingale said -“Never give up on a dream because of the time it will take to accomplish it. The time will pass anyways.” 

 

S.K.

 

 

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Be Honest With Yourself

14 Nov

In a post I wrote months ago, I discussed how sometimes the important thing is not knowing what you do want but rather being sure of what you definitely don’t want to do in life.

Now it’s time to take that same sentiment to WHO you are.

You have to be honest with yourself about who you really are. That’s the only way you can be true to your needs and desires. It’s also significant in helping you give up on things/people that make you weaker or don’t give you a chance to capitalize your strengths.

Accept what you’re not in order to love who you are.

Accepting what you’re not means accepting the things that you just can’t change, no matter how hard you try (and try, you will). For example, some people have to accept what qualifications they lack when applying to jobs. This doesn’t mean they can’t play with what they have done and have to offer. Other people have to accept what they require out of relationships. This will help them from engaging with people who bring them down or make them unhappy. And so on.

We spend a lot of time telling ourselves that we can be better or we can have what it takes. Some times, we’re right. We can always work to acquire new skills or manipulate our own traits. However, there are other times where you have to accept your character, your thoughts, and your feelings in order to shape a more realistic, and beneficial outlook on your life.

Knowing when to accept doesn’t result to any type of failure.

Instead of wasting a lot of energy to try to be someone you’re not, accept it and in turn, spend that energy loving and maximizing who you are.

Once you accept the truth about factors that make you YOU, it’ll reflect in your relationships, your self image, your goals and your happiness.

S.K.

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A Poem: Not Even Feeling Obsolete Is Absolute

18 May

I wrote this poem today because I am feeling down about some areas of my life that are not where they need to be. Sometimes some things fall apart and other things fall together or rather, some things are falling together and then things you thought you conquered are falling apart. It’s hard and it hurts. 

So this is a poem for you, from me. (or for me, from me).

Dear you,

to sometimes feel obsolete 
in a world
where nothing is absolute is sooooo
{gut.twisting.heart.aching.take a deep breath.}
normal

not even feeling obsolete is absolute.

at some point YOUR value 
will be absolutely invaluable, 
and the purposelessness you once felt
will be replaced with
the purpose 
that now drives you 
everyday…..

at work, at home,in relationships, and in every aspect of life.

you just need to find it.
find.your.purpose.

Love, me.

S.K.

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The Golden Rule Revamped

10 May

We all know the Golden Rule. It is stated in all scriptures, all philosophies- the ethic of reciprocity- treat others the way you want to be treated. Honestly, I still haven’t decided how I feel about living by it. Sometimes no matter how I would want to be treated, I just can’t treat another person like that. Some people are just bad, mean, morally wrong, or cruel and don’t deserve your time, patience and compassion. (Rant over). 

This post looks at the rule from another angle. An angle I do try to live by.

Sometimes we need to treat ourselves the way we would treat others. This goes two ways.

First,

Would you forgive someone else for something you have done? Why can’t you forgive yourself?

Would you stand up for a friend or even a stranger if they are being mistreated or wronged? Why don’t you stand up for yourself?

Would you drop what you’re doing for a friend in need just to be there for them? Why do you think it’s weak to take time for yourself, to stop working, to ask for space or time off so you can recuperate and take care of yourself?

The list can go on. Love yourself more, be more forgiving, let yourself off the hook sometimes, and take care of yourself. 

Second, 

When you do something wrong or make a terrible mistake, do you tell yourself it’s okay and forgive yourself? Then why are you so unforgiving, hurtful and maybe even hold a grudge over a friend about the same thing?

When you are running late, cancel plans last minute, or cut someone off in traffic, do you understand and tell yourself that you aren’t usually like that? Then why do you question someone else’s character when they do the same things to you?

This list can also go on. Don’t be a hypocrite; you are not better than anyone else. Step into other people’s shoes more and be more understanding. 

This is something to think about in all relationships- familial, intimate, work, and platonic.

Think about it, 

S.K.

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Image

Creating the Individual

15 Apr

Last year, when things seemed to be slowly falling apart for me, I wrote the word INDIVIDUAL on a pice of scrap cardboard. Then, I wasn’t quite sure how to dissect the word. Today, however, I woke up wanting to CREATE a part of myself…something…so, I found this in the back of my closet and I started to write. I realized that I saw the word for what I want it to mean to me today and I hope that seeing this will help you too.

In = 1) Be aware of surroundings, always. 2) Where you are and when is significant. 3) Evaluate relationships you are in, where you are comfortable, confinements and investments.
Indi(e) = independent/independence
Divid(e) = 1) separate from expectations of others; veer off and away if you have to in order to find you. 2) Prioritize your passions and parts
U = YOU
Visual = 1) SEE; use eyes; be more observant. 2) create charts, time tables and VISION boards to visualize short and long term goals

All rights reserved. Copyright Sahaj Kohli.

Happy Sunday, 

S.K.

PS. I think this might be a good cover to the QLC book, thoughts?

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