I can get really intense about things that I want really badly. If any of my relationships are hitting the rocks, I tend to fight harder. If I am trying to pursue something for a dream or passion, I obsess over doing every possible thing I can to get there. But the absolute worst of all situations is when there’s nothing I can do. I can’t force someone to be a better friend or person for me, I can only be the best friend and person I can be. I can’t decide the results of something, I can just work my very hardest for the best. So what happens when you’ve done everything on your end?
Then comes the waiting game. Something I am still learning to perfect.
Whether it’s waiting for grades or exam results, waiting to hear back from employers, giving time/space to relationships and friendships, waiting for health test results, waiting for admission decisions, waiting for answers, and waiting for choices.
We spend a lot of time in our lives waiting and we’ve all done it. During the process we analyze all possibilities starting with the very worst. What happens if I don’t get the job? What happens if my girlfriend breaks up with me? What happens if I don’t get into that school? We spend so much time wanting things to go a certain way so when we are waiting to see if they will, we obsess over the worst.
Then comes the mental strain we put on ourselves if things don’t work out the way we want. What’s wrong with me? Why didn’t that person or that school want me? I didn’t do enough. I’m a failure.
We start to put ourselves down. I am guilty of this so I know how easy it is to do that and also how bad it is. If things don’t go the way you want them to….you are still going to be okay. If you worked your hardest and did your best, then don’t put yourself down. Be proud. You made yourself vulnerable to something or someone and that takes a lot of strength. (Sidenote: If you didn’t do your best and you maybe even messed things up, then learn from it, be upset with yourself but don’t hate yourself over it. You are still the only thing you have for every minute of this life. If you don’t like who you are, forgive yourself and be better.)
Most importantly- Don’t tell yourself it’s not the way things were supposed to turn out. Instead, tell yourself it’s not the way you THOUGHT things were going to turn out.
If there’s anything I have continuously been reminded of over the past few years, it’s this:
You will work hard. You will do everything you can do in a situation. Sometimes you won’t get what you worked so hard for. You will feel bad. There’s nothing you can do about it. No matter what, things will be okay if not better.
Hang on. Life is a journey that goes up AND down.