Tag Archives: Technology

Public Announcements on Social Media: What Do You Think?

14 May

I have stressed my concern a lot with social media and its role in how we perceive ourselves. In my post Competition and Comparisons  I talk about the competition that social media brings to life for us, and how important it is for us not to get sucked into it. In my post Despite The Wrong, You’re Still Headed Right I talk about how we can feel pressure from people on social media, even those we barely know, and it tends be bring negative perceptions of our own lives and where we are.

In this post, I want to turn the tables for a moment. It’s May. Most of you who read this are finishing up another year of college of graduate school, some of you are even graduating (!!!!). Some of you are content with a stable work life and some of you are in the midst of deciding between job offers. Some of you are looking forward to exciting summer plans while others are still figuring out what they are going to do. Whatever your situation is, there’s always something exciting happening. It could be next weekend, next month, in the Fall, or something that you are currently celebrating.

I, myself, just got an unbelievable internship this summer with Huffington Post in NYC. So, why can’t I celebrate it? I can and I should….and you should be allowed to celebrate/be happy about whatever is going on with you too. 

I think it’s perfectly okay to post publicly a celebration or an exciting offer/plan going on in your life. We share photos of our newborn babies, statuses about new, exciting opportunities, notes about graduation and who/what we will miss, statuses about engagements and new relationships etc.  As long as you aren’t posting your celebrations or exciting offers/plans to see if ‘so and so’ will notice or to gain public validation or to hurt somebody then it’s fine. Your social media accounts are yours alone. No, you don’t NEED to post anything to feel a certain way about yourself, and you don’t NEED other people to know what’s going on but if you WANT to share with your world amazing news, so what. Right?

Or am I wrong? From the standpoint of a person who can easily see both sides to every story….I want your opinion.

I think like mentioned in my post stated above, Competitions and Comparisons, that there is a huge double standard and a Facebook/social media illusion. We can share the good things but preferably not the bad because it becomes too personal. We can read other people’s great lives but not see what’s going wrong with them. This leads us to come off as superficial, fake, or even bragging if you are sharing great things, or it leads us to feel bad, negative, and disappointed in ourselves when our feed is being spammed with everybody else’s greatness. 

What are your thoughts on sharing things on social media? It’s great to share with your world everything that’s going right, but when things are going wrong how come it’s TMI or inappropriate to share breakups, negative thoughts or problems? Is it only okay if you really are only on their to connect with real friends and not just network with anybody? But If you become my friend or follow me or read what I write then is it safe to say that you are interested in what’s going on in my life, good or bad?

Does social media permit a constant sense of seeking attention? Is that always necessarily bad? Is there a way to escape it?

I share my exciting news because after all, social media is a place where everybody can have a say, share their story, make a public opinion or express their passions. It’s lovely. I share my favorite songs which tend to be slower songs that don’t usually express my emotions. I have favorite quotes that will sometimes relay my thoughts and struggles. But really, where is the line to be drawn between sharing too much, good or bad, on social media?

What are your thoughts on this issue?

S.K.

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Competition and Comparisons

12 Apr

It’s a competitive world out there especially now when we are all trying to break out into ourselves and our careers and pursue our passions and dreams. But here are a few things I’ve learned along the way…(and keep relearning because I tend to forget them).

1) Stop comparing yourself with other people. It will never make you feel better and if it is what you do in order to feel better then you seriously need to reevaluate your self esteem and where you need to get validation from.

2) My best friend gave me great advice last week…”Just because other people are successful and doing really well DOES NOT mean that you are doing any worse than them”. We are all different and we all have our own paths. Follow yours.

3) Competition is healthy but friends support friends no matter what. If you have the confidence in yourself to follow through and get what you want/deserve then supporting and helping others should not be a problem. 

4) Sometimes there will come those times where you require help from someone else in order to get what you want. Whether it’s an introduction to someone they know in a field you want to break into or help with a personal project for your resume or like me, getting to a final stage of a contest via popular vote. These are the exact times where you see people’s true colors. Don’t overlook the people who are conspiring to help you and don’t forget that some of your “friends” may not really be your friends. 

5) “Haters are just confused admirers who can’t understand why everybody likes you.” I am not telling you this to remind you to be strong and to ignore your haters…that was the first thing that came to your mind, naturally. I’m telling you this to remind YOU to stop hating on other people. We all do it. You do it. I do it. It’s natural. But next time you feel yourself “hating” on someone else, stop. It’s not worth it. It’s not important that you can’t understand why people like them or why they are so successful. What IS important is that you are not confident enough to let it go and say “hey, good for them” or “who cares”. You are hating because in some way or another, you are jealous. I know some of you are like “uh, no that’s definitely not true”. I’m sorry but it is. It took me a long time to realize that I was a hater of some people and then I realized I spent too much time caring about their lives when I should have been channeling all that energy into my own. Learn from me.

6) My personal favorite—the Facebook illusion. Don’t let yourself get down and depressed because everyone on Facebook (or any other social media) seems to be so confident and successful and perfect. They aren’t. Facebook allows for everyone to selectively share what’s going on in their life. You don’t see me writing “Today, I hate life and am struggling to love who I am”…but that should have been my Facebook status everyday for a few months last year. Yes, I am putting that out there . Why? Because I desperately want to remind whoever reads this that it gets better, everyone is struggling and don’t be fooled into thinking you’re alone by the Facebook illusion!

S.K.

PS Don’t forget to go out and vote for me to win my dream internship. Click the link and click vote everyday (or however often you would like) until April 22. www.about.me/sahajkohli

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Equilibrium Part 3/3 “Don’t Become A Robot”

12 Jan

e·qui·lib·ri·um - A state in which opposing forces or influences are balanced

My first post on equilibrium for the New Year was on balance between self vs. community. The second was suggestions on how to use fear to find fearlessness. In my final post on striking balance for the New Year is focused on technology and its overwhelming takeover of our lives.

It’s so easy to be stuck to your technologies- BlackBerrys, Androids, Iphones- any cell phone- Ipods/MP3s/CD players, Ipads/tablets, laptops, desktops, Ebook readers etc.

We are so spoiled.

Somehow in all the fascination and dependence on these mechanical gadgets, we have forgotten the important of human contact and complete independence. So, I write this post to urge you to make it a point AT LEAST once a week to switch things up. Here are some suggestions–

1)   HOLD OFF IN THE MORNING. When you wake up first thing in the morning- don’t check your phone OR computer (unless it is to shut off the alarm clock). Take a deep breath, stretch, eat breakfast, shower, get dressed AND THEN indulge yourself in emails and texts and phone calls and social media sites (Facebook/Twitter/etc).

2)   SWITCH IT UP. Read the newspaper or listen to NPR. I know it’s so much easier to go to websites and get a rundown of the news but go old school once in awhile. You learn random things and take in at least 50% more information by flipping pages, perusing papers that are too big to hold out or by listening to the radio.

3)   SNAIL MAIL. Write a letter. Tell me you wouldn’t love getting snail mail? Next time you want to send an email to a friend to check in or stalk an old Facebook friend- grab a piece of paper, write a letter to them and send it out.

4)   READ A BOOK WITHOUT DISTRACTIONS. Next time you want to leisure read a magazine or book, put your phone on silent, close your laptop and spend an hour actually throwing yourself into the story. No distractions. If you need to look up words in the process (like me), buy a pocket dictionary instead of relying on the Internet.

5)   GAME NIGHT. Whatever happened to good old classic board games or card games? Speed, Jenga, Monopoly, Scrabble etc. Put down your phone, get off your computer and stop playing words with friends or angry birds or whatever other ridiculous game you’re wasting your time with. Instead, play an actual board game with real live people who are physically next to you.

6)   GET LOST. As long as it’s daytime and a generally safe area, get lost. Walk around aimlessly until you don’t know where you are. You’ll meet new people, you’ll find new stores and places that intrigue you, and when you are ready to find your way home- ask someone for general directions instead of mapping it out on your GPS or your phone. 

7) LEARN/CREATE SOMETHING. Spend the hour you would usually spend on the Internet or watching television/hulu to pick up a hobby, or to learn something new. Knit, scrapbook, take karate lessons, write, learn a language, learn how to change a flat tire (manually), practice a sport, go to a nursing home and hear stories about historical events from people who have lived through them…etc.

The brain is a muscle and we find ourselves relying on technology for EVERYTHING. Force yourself, once in awhile to do things the old school way. Use your head before looking things up, read things physically rather than electronically, hang out with friends physically rather than via the Internet, and so on. I love technology and I own every gadget you can think of, but I push myself to step away every now and then. Don’t let technology run your life or waste your time- if you don’t believe me, spend a day logging how much you check your phone, text, email, sit on Facebook or Twitter or browsing the internet…I guarantee you’ll be a little disturbed with the results.

Stay naturally smart,

S.K.

PS. I want to hear your unplugged stories- comment or send me an email letting me know how long you can go completely unplugged and what you do to make up for that time. I bet you cant go an entire 24 hours? CHALLENGE. 

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